Rollin,
I think that we all have to learn how to deal with this disease, and for quite some time I was just like you. Even still, if I find myself thinking about it, then I automatically think the worst!
My Urologist is very, very positive, and feels as if we can stay on top of this thing and win! He even seems like we may never deal with it again. I know that the statistics show otherwise, but we try to stay as positive as possible. I just had my first 3 month cysto, and everything was clear! My cytology (spelling) report also showed no signs of "floating" cancer cells in the urine during the cystoscope. I am relieved to be three months cancer free!
Keep your head up, and realize that we now have to take everything one day at a time. Shocked as we all were when we were diagnosed, we must all keep a positive attitude. I see others, and have others in my life with other cancers and concerns, and some of these guys have way worse prognosis. I know that things could always be much harder for me and my family. Really, I am blessed.