Any advice appreciated....

Thank you everyone for all of your support. You are all in my prayers from now on as well.

Just another question for Karen in particular. you mentioned that your husband's cancer is also in the bones. Have you had any experiences with breaks? We are also very worried about that. Also, I have been reading about different foods to avoid...any advice there?

Thanks again! Your feedback is invaluable!

Melissa

Melissa,

Welcome to the web cafe...sounds like it is a place you need to be right now.

I am another North Carolinean in the same boat....my husband was diagnosed in January 2007. We never talked about how much time he has either. Up until his scan in May 2008 we were getting reports that the cancer was not progressing very much but now things are definitely going downhill.
It is so very hard to deal with but we just put forth our best effort and are thankful for every day.

Prayers are for everyone on here.

Clara

Karen is %100 right about chemo brain I would get confused and for example if I were talking to someone I would answer them and sometimes it was funny because my answer had nothing to do with question and I would swear I was right. Also I was told about WEEK 6 I might lose my hair and that is when it started I would grab some of my hair and it came right out, so I got the clippers out and gave myself a nice buzz haircut. My wife told me she really liked it and said geez lol I never knew you had such a nice round head. It was no big deal when the chemo was over my hair grew back better then before the same color but it was smoother like it was conditioned or something so I can live with that. I was already on Valium but it is a good idea to take something as Karen did mention to put you more at ease. Joe

Mel09,

I also wanted to add that my husband never lost his hair with that combo of chemo...the worst side effect for him was something called "Chemo Brain"...it made him feel disconnected, and he would drift off in his own thoughts...also, nausea so make sure they give him something to go home with...he didn't really throw-up, but was nausea alot...
Your father will eat when he is hungry, it is best not to bring up food...I also found that there is not weight loss with this chemo, but sometimes the opposite..and after the first treatment will probably think that this is going to be a breeze...that is a false sense of security because the effects happen usually after the 3-4 treatment...the first 2 are relatively easy...

Plan something special for a couple of weeks after the treatment ends, a trip to where he always wanted to go, a family get together or something...you must take advantage of this time frame when he is feeling well...I cannot stress this enough...this is a long battle...anti-anxiety drugs aren't a bad idea either Xanax, Valium etc...they do take the edge off.

I wish you and your family well, and I will be praying for you,
Karen

Mel09 I am so sorry to hear this news, it just a question of how he responds to the chemo. You are in my prayers and just try to focus positive. Karen's husband was dx last year with the same thing and with her loving support and his fight and inner strength he is putting up one heck of a fight. Look at Lance Armstrong thinking his testicular cancer was due to just riding his bike and he ignored all the symptoms until the cancer spread to his abdomen, lungs and brain and he his still here today cancer free so anything is possible. Keep the Faith, Joe

Melissa, my husband age 70 in August also has Stage IV Bladder Cancer. His went from bladder to the upper tract and kidneys on both sides. Next a tumor was found in his lungs it was removed in October we found out in May that near the site of the lung tumor cancer had gone into his ribs. He was referred for Radiation Therapy. We have not had a forecast of life expectancy. The oncologist says because my husband bladder cancer has been slow so far that we just don't know how long. Meanwhile we are waiting and watching. My husband cannot have chemo because he also has a bone marrow disorder and chemo depresses bone marrow function.

There are some people who live beyond 2 years with Stage IV, some live beyond 5 years and a very few beyond 10. Since most of the people who get bladder cancer are over 60 we don't know how many died of other causes. My husband has outlived his father who died of a heart attack by 6 years and we count that as a blessing.

I hope the chemo knocks back your Dad's cancer. Julie