Lorrie,
I can feel your pain, the history of what has went on with your husband is certainly not the norm, thank God, of course the bag would have solved alot of his problems he is having now but thats all over the bridge. As my husbands caregiver these days being in a much better position than you with no cancer I still wonder what day will be my day..you have endured much,,I can't even wonder what he must feel like,,,I am sure he just wants to get better and feel human again. I am 62, so I can relate to feeling how can this be happening at this age we all thought were golden years....sometimes spiritual help is in order, if you have faith, give up the pain you feel and recognize each day as a gift with him even through the diapers, bed sheets, and a constant running neo-bladder...look for something good each day, call the kids, tell them how you feel...he has been through so much, I think alot of your anger comes from other places as well as the illness, communication etc. I guess theres no guarantees when one will be hit with something like this in ones relationship, but this is not the time to jump ship, you will be glad in the end you endured...take care, Ginger