I had been in a relationship for 10 months...I was working on a future with this person. In July 2007, my cancer returned after 7 years, high grade for the first time. It obviously was a very stressful time for me; I counted on the support of the person I most cared for. Imagine my shock when he wouldn't even hug me when I told him about the diagnosis. He showed very little empathy for my fears, stress, and what I had to go through. There were times I cried, and he ignored me. He said it was not a bad situation, but that I was just seeing it that way. Maybe he was in denial. To make a long story short, he became alternately withdrawn and combative. I told him that if he could not be supportive, he would have to leave, but he would not. In September, I finally had to tell him to to away and stay away. As much as that hurt, his treating me like he was hurt more.
It has happened other times. In 2000, when I had my first bc recurrence, I was abruptly dumped by the man I was dating. When herniated disks in my neck temporarily disabled me about 5 years ago, my relationship partner at the time began treating me badly, being sarcastic and mean because I was no longer "fun."
I don't have a supportive family, so I'm pretty much left alone here now.
Has anyone been dumped when their relationship partner found out you had cancer, or another health problem? Or did a partner start treating you badly in order to get out of the relationship, because he/she was too cowardly to say "I can't deal with this cancer thing; I have to leave" ? Or am I the only one? If someone has experienced it, how did you handle it? I am so hurt.
No relationship is perfect, but I was treated well in these relationships until the health problems surfaced, making me feel like I was being punished for it. Talk about adding "insult to injury." I wonder if I'll be able to trust anyone again, because this cancer will recur and recur, and I am really tired of going through this.
Connie