Shepman,
Welcome. We are simply sorry for the situation. Yes, you do have some serious and fairly quick decisions to make. First, many would encourage you to get a second opinion. If you do, you want to get to a place that sees a LOT of bladder cancer. Maybe a teaching hospital or research hospital. I am saying someplace like M.D. Anderson, Sloan Kettering, John Hopkins, Cleveland Clinic, Northwestern U, USC etc. A second opinion often corroborates what your first URO sees but, it is fresh eyes and can lead to alternative ideas.
Your own URO is probably aware of some other agents that are being used. From Joea73's research on our own board see:
A Randomized Phase III Trial of Intravesical BCG versus Intravesical Docetaxel and Gemcitabine Treatment in BCG Naive Non-Muscle Invasive Bladder Cancer (The BRIDGE Trial) - NCI
Also:
BCG treatments - Bladder Cancer Support Forum
Sometimes, interferon is added to BCG. I haven't read much about the past few years as showing a lot of success.
Just be sure to choose a path that still leads to life. If it does come to a cystectomy, MANY from this board will tell you they lead very productive leads with few restrictions. Here is a link with good pro's and con's from the Cleveland Clinic:
Urinary Diversion: What Is It, Types & Surgery Options (clevelandclinic.org)