My boyfriend, the father of our 2 little boys (ages 8 and 4), was diagnosed in late Oct. we thought it was kidney stones. They saw a few small spots and scheduled a TURBT. They removed 10-14 large tumors and declared him all clear (was confirmed with Roswell). He just went back for his first scope and it's back
. They say they saw 2-3 small spots again. It's in a different spot higher up in the bladder like it's moving towards the kidneys (scary). Now he's going to have another TURBT in a couple of weeks. He doesn't do well with the catheter (it's very uncomfortable/painful for him) as well as getting scoped (they have to put him under anesthesia). His doctor feels like he isn't a good candidate for the BCG since he has so much trouble with the catheter. He is 36 and has the bladder of a 76 year old. Yesterday he flipped out on me, he was screaming at me at the top of his lungs right in front of the boys! He kept saying that I have an attitude towards him and that I'm obviously not happy being with him and that it's obvious that I don't care about him. He went as far as to say that he's not going to get the surgeries anymore since I obviously want him to die from cancer. !?!?!? I know that he's stressed out and probably depressed but he refuses to talk to the doctor about his feelings. He says he won't ever take anti-depressants but I believe that he has been taking painkillers (without a prescription)... I might be unhappy with the situation but I would never blame him for it. Nobody chooses to get cancer. I really want to help him but it seems like he just wants to give up and then blame me for it... Any advice or thoughts???