Wow, just stumbled on to this and we're almost in identical situations. I was also diagnosed with lung CA in 2008 and beat it... very large neuroendocrine tumor the size of a grapefruit, got chemo, radiation, and took graviola... tumor shrunk to 2.9 cm in four months and never recurred. They wanted to remove it and do a pneumenoectomy, but I refused, and continued the treatment. My doctor has always admired me for standing my ground, but things have taken a different turn now. I'm 57, thought for the last five years I was going to remain cancer free, and on my last CT a month ago the doc asked for a PET because he thought he saw some growth in the lung. They were wrong, but coincidentally found something else lighting up on my bladder. After a cystoscopy and discovering a 2.5 cm papillary tumor, undergoing a (lovely) TURBT, and a lot of hellish waiting, I was just staged on Monday with Ta, high grade, and have an ominous feeling about it. Getting ready for BCG treatments on 9/12. Yes, I was a smoker until I was first diagnosed with lung CA, but I've spoken with a few people in the last couple of days who've have told me that it's also not unusual to develop a second cancer after undergoing chemo and radiation (and I had a lot of the latter, and the chemo pretty much wrecked me too). They said it usually recurs somewhere in the body between 5-7 years due to immunity issues from the treatment. Having a hard time dealing with the sudden letdown after thinking I'd beat this disease. This is a second type of cancer, unrelated to the first. Is yours a metastistis, or is it also a second type?
I agree that it would be a good idea to get a second and third opinion. It sounds like you're facing making some tough decisions. You didn't give a lot of detail as to what stage your bladder cancer is right now. Please feel free to befriend me and write if you feel like it. All we can both do is hang in there and try and support each other.
Doug