Hi Susan.
Before my diagnosis, I had read a bit on internet on blood in urine ( bearing in mind that mine had only occurred after medication with anti inflams or aspirin). When I read anything that said a possibility was cancer I just looked further, sure that it was something else, maybe had been given too much medic , or some sensibility in kidneys from chidhood problem, but was sure that I was teflon coated where cancer was concerned. ( No family history, no smoke, pretty healthy life style etc etc ). When they eventually did an ultra sound It was really obvious that there was something there that shouldn·t be, and I felt like my legs had turned to water.I think I coped emotionally pretty well,organised to see an oncologist 2 days later, arranged togo for Turb, etc.
Managed to stay calm on the outside while hubby threw a wobbly .
All until I went for a doctors appt.,arrived 2 minutes late because of roadworks, missed my slot and then had to wait until end of surgery hours, and whilst waiting a friend came in, and asked me how everything was going. Could hardly speak, left surgery, couldn·t go home cause would only upset hubby, so went to my office, locked door behind me and bawled my heart out.
That for me was a turning point. I still have odd days when I wonder if this thing is going to be what eventually takes me, but those days now are few and far between. What this disease has done for me has made me appreciate infinitely more what a wonderful life I still have, and have had.I cope much better than before with trivial problems. I don·t suffer fools or cheats lightly, but believe I have more compassion and charity for those who maybe are not as strong mentally as I feel I am.
Sorry if I have gone on a bit long, but you did ask for input ! I think at the moment we who have non invasive bc are in a very priveleged position. Whatever happens in the future, we have time to look at the options ahead, talk to those who have experience, and we are aware that from now on we have to be diligent about attending whatever medical appts we need.
It is ok to have bad days, even to curl up and cry about the unfairness of it all now and again. I suppose in a way it is like grieving the loss of a taken for granted health that we had. So we must make the best of what we have now.
Your friend Flamenco