Day 6 after Starting new CHEMO regiment of CMV

Hi Karen,
I have been reading your postings for a while and I feel for you, my heart goes out to you. It brings back memories, although in my husbands case the cancer had metastatized to the lungs. It must be really hard and exhausting for you.

You are wondering if it is all worth it and I think nobody knows. It is in our nature to fight, however there can be a lot of healing when we surrender. It can bring relief and peace, and the experience can become deeply meaningfull and extraordinary.

You write that you hug and cry alot which I think is great. This is a very important time and the sharing of feelings and love will bring you much closer and is also part of the grieving process.
I wish you both strength and like to give you a big hug in this difficult time. I will be thinking of you.
Renee

Karen my heart goes out to you and your husband and your kids because I know this is a real hardship to have to go through. I was lucky and my cancer did not spread but even now I am done with the surgery and chemo I have days I still don't feel all that great so I can't imagine what you husband is going through. When you don't feel well everything gets on your nerves this is normal, I know I am like that. All I can say is just try and have faith and God works in mysterious ways so sometimes you never know things could make a turn for the better. Keep the Faith And Pray. Joe

Karen,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I cannot imagine how difficult this is and has been. Just know that I am praying for your family and that I care.
God Bless, Holly

Well today starts day six after the first dose of a new CHEMO regiment called CMV, which stands for: Cisplatin, Methotrexate, and Vinblastine for those of you new to this. My husband was hospitalized for this course and was there Mon. Tues. and Wed. of last week. This was planned as they were giving him steroids, and flushing his kidneys with IV fluids after the chemo was given. This was used as a precaution due to the fact that he is diabetic. Well, the steroids played with the blood glucose levels for 5 days, today he is finally back to his normal 157-167 readings. He went from 200-450 throughout the 5 days and it was ridiculous the amount of times we tested and gave sliding scale insulin depending on the results. Overall he feels like crap. This is by far the worst week of chemo to date. We knew it was going to get worse, but were un prepared for the side effects he got.
1. severe heartburn...which no matter was was given from prevacid to mylanta still hasn't gone away.
2. Bowels forgeting what they are supposed to do. Even with coaxing from stool softeners, to laxatives.
3. Hallucinations from the Narcotics...this was an interesting one...he even felt like his bones were being crushed under his own weight...
4. Up every 2 hrs. (If we got any sleep at all).
5. muscle pain and weakness
6. dizziness & fatigue
7. Severe "Chemo Brain"
Now we were prepared (to the extent you can be) for:
1. mouth sores
2. metalic taste in mouth.
3. nausea 7 vomiting
4. fatigue
5. flu-like symptoms

But none of those were experienced except the fatigue which I am sure is from lack of sleep because I am fatigued too.

The next Chemo session is tomorrow (Thurs.) hard to do when there wasn't even a decent day in between. We are told this round isn't as bad because they leave out the Cisplatin.

He is starting to feel like he won't make it till Christmas (his words) I am not sure if this is the depression or what but it is very dis-hearting. We cry alot, and hug alot, not alot of conversation though, he is really side-tracked by the heartburn/sour stomach/constipation/cramping etc...he seems to say a sentence and then lean back to gather his thoughts or just rock in pain. The kids are having a hard time because he is a bit short tempered if they get to "Wild" so there has been alot of outside play, and videos/dvds over the past week. We carved pumpkins, and roasted the seeds (just me and the kids) on Sat. and they really enjoyed that.


I hope the treatments get easier/ or that we are able to control the side effects better. This is really a taxing time on him, and the rest of us...I wonder sometimes if it is worth it (between me and you), what are we giving up to MAYBE gain some time? I understand now the reason some people choose no more treatment. He is so strong, and so brave, I am so proud of him for doing this...I don't know if I could...He truely is my HERO.

Pray for us,
Karen