Can't help jumping in here to address some of the points raised. My surgery was in August of 2006. Although I made steady progress, I really was as weak as a kitten until the beginning of 2007. Although I made it to the family Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I was exhausted after each. It wasn't until February or March of 2007 that I could classify myself as "well" in the sense of engaging in activities without coming home and crashing after doing so. I wasn't "playing the cancer card;" I just took a very long time to bounce back. Even though the doctor told me it would take four to six weeks to recover, it really didn't work that way. So, I would advise caregivers to be aware of these individual differences and to be patient.
It was a glorious day for me when I got rid of all of the bandages, pills, potions, etc. that made my home seem like a hospital. That day came relatively quickly (within two months). I was also thrilled when I could get back to dealing with household chores as my husband was exhausted from his work responsibilities being combined with taking care of me. There were plenty of nights when he was up irrigating, giving me meds, etc. and got very little sleep. Somehow, we got through it and I will be eternally grateful for his kindness and loyalty. It does get better. I would say that, if anything, it made our marriage stronger. If the roles are ever reversed, I will definitely be there for him.