Hey there Pat,
Again, I wanted to thank you for all of your advisement. In times of illness, it's easy to lose track of which way to turn. All of your advice has been wonderful. And correct, as my mother and I found ourselves lacking 1 good solid physician to take my father's reins in regards to his overall medical care. He had an oncologist, a radiational oncologist, a primary MD thru the nursing home (whom we never saw, just communicated via telephone by the nursing staff), and a urologist who passed us along to an interventional radiologist for changing of his nephrostomy tubes. We were about to ask his regular primary MD to step in to manage. And his confusion had been getting lots better. We got the staff to only give the pain pills if he required them, versus scheduled. And we were taking him outside for fresh air, and even got him back online for a day! Last Sunday, I didn't find Dad to be confused at all. It was a nice change of pace to have my Dad back.
Unfortunately, Dad had other plans, and went into cardiac arrest on Monday. And following his DNR wishes, we had to let him go. Just the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's now been the longest week of doing things I'm not ready to do yet. But now he has no pain, and now he doesn't have any nephrostomy tubes in. And no radiation. And he's enjoying friendships he lost years ago. And that's how I have to look at it, otherwise, I just continually cry. All of my time taking care of my father really made me a lot closer to him than I ever was. And now I don't have that. And in the end, all of the doctors we saw we right, it wasn't the cancer that killed him.