Star
I'm a man (43) but I can really relate to your situation. I had many tumours removed (40 or so) over the years and ended up trying BCG when they became more aggressive (higher grade). I also had CIS. I tried the BCG for about 18 months or so and when it kept failing I was faced with the same decision as you; whether to keep the bladder or not. Amongst the many reasons I went with bladder removal was the simple fact that if I was to go through such a big operation (and it IS a big operation!) then I wanted to do it when it had the best possible chance of curing the cancer. Unlike Patricia above, mine was always early stage (Ta) but with the CIS I knew statistically there was a good chance that it could become more aggressive.
It's a very very hard decision but I'm happy with the route I chose. I'm now 14 weeks or so out of surgery and my life is mostly back to normal. I still have some issues. Mainly nighttime continence with my neobladder but a cloud has certainly lifted and I'm just getting on with things. I'm back to work soon but I could probably, if pushed, gone back already. But I'll go when I have the nighttime stuff a bit more under control
Best Wishes
Tim