Poptime,
I am sorry about your recent diagnosis and experience . I am in the earliest stages of walking this out as well. I was/am oddly calm about the long term treatment plans and longevity prospects. But I still have a fair amount on anxiety over all the procedures that take place in urethra . I had convinced myself that I would consume a Cannabis edible or bowel prior to any non hospital visit if I knew they were going up there. I just returned home from spending a week in the hospital having my bladder continuously irrigated. This is done via a very large catheter that contains three tubes, one to pump fluids in, one to drain fluids out, and one ti inflate/deflate the retaining balloon. This was placed after a shot of morphine which didn’t seem to help at all. I am still very sensitive there. So my anxiety remains pretty high. My plan is to self medicate as mentioned above if I can pull it off. I’m not real experienced with pharmaceuticals - but if you are, and think a Xanax will calm you down iwould pursue it.
Good luck, get a plan in place with goals, then work the plan. Don’t ignore diets role in this - lots of dietary things can promote or retard cancer cells. I just hit Ketosis and am bringing my blood glucose and sugar level way down to attempt to starve the cancer. I let the docs do their bit with poison and scalpel while I work on diet and a positive outlook.
1/1/2019 Happy New Year: What is that red tint in the toilet
1/2/2019 Primary DR - might be first signs of BC
1/9/2019 CT Scan, Urine Culture, PSA test - ALL CLEAR
1/13/2019 Cystoscopy show what looks like Papillary
2/1/2019 TURBT
2/5/2019 Clots and blood clog urethra go to ER
2/7/2019 DX: HG...