Molly123,
Waiting IS very hard; everyone here knows the feeling, and eventually we learn that we will ALWAYS have to wait for more information - only then can we relax. Life takes a new turn the day we hear the word "CANCER" applied to us or a loved one.
The consensus here, from personal reports, tends to not find a link between tumor size and stage. If you type 5467 into the search box, you can read a past thread on the subject of large tumors. The pathology results were mixed, again showing no consensus correlation between size and grade. Think positive thoughts.
You and your husband could not do better than MSK. It is a top tier cancer hospital with the intellectual resources to deal with your situation.
Soon you will have a complete diagnosis and a treatment plan. Life begins to settle back down at that point.
Best,
Jack