That seems like a logical approach, but with an invasive tumor type, time is always a factor so make sure all those steps happen quickly. It is a good sign that the CT scan did not indicate any involvement of lymph nodes.
Again, ask how many primary bladder adenocarcinomas they have treated. My first uro said he might see one every 10 years. This is a fairly small city without a lot of top medical facilities so I chose to be treated at Vanderbilt although it was 300 miles away.
I looked at the Yale Smilow website and it talks at length about prostate cancer, some reference to kidney cancer, and very little about bladder cancer. It does mention immunotherapy options for bladder cancer (BCG, etc.), but that is not generally considered for these tumors as I believe they explained to you.
Also when you discuss partial cystectomy, ask how many of those they have performed. In bladder cancer surgery, experience and repetition are of utmost importance.
I would still recommend going for a second opinion, preferably to a high-volume bladder cancer center like Memorial-Sloan Kettering in New York or Mass General in Boston, perhaps while waiting for that second TURBT. As another option, you can have the pathology slides sent to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore for a second read on those. I'm sure your head is spinning by now.
I'm certainly not trying to diminish the quality of care of Yale Smilow. I'm sure it is a very good medical facility. Bottom line, your wife and you have to be comfortable and confident in your medical team... wherever that may be. As long as you both feel her needs are being met by the Yale team, then that is where you should be. I'm sure your meeting next week will answer many of the questions you have.
Let us know how your appointment goes next week.