Kay,
I am sorry for the situation you are in with your dad. My dad opted for no feeding tube, he was given morphine for 6 days and then he passed quitely. Obviously his fight is over, at 116 pounds he has to be weak and has no strength to carry on. My dad went straight to a hospice center, 8 rooms, all private, we stayed with him 24/7, it seems we've come together at a time where we can't be of much help, but we can help by emotionally supporting you at this sad time for you and your family..if he truly wants to go hospice is the thing to do.
This group of doctors have thrown you under the bus sorta speak, its maddening. Was he at a Major Cancer Hospital,,the ones who did his bladder removal, obviously not if they didn't know it was gone...so now what, pain management, with hospice? PALLATIVE CARE?
Either one would work and they would give him control over the pain and the comfort issues.
If he chooses to just end it hospice can do the morphine route, I can tell you from my experience its peaceful, hard to let go, on his side and yours, but his quality of life has been compromised, I pray you will find the answer to the issues at hand...somehow you will be shown the way...Ginger