Welcome! I got the neobladder a few years back.
The good news for you is that the ileal conduit surgery is the easiest of the three primary options. It still will not be a walk in the park though. Chew gum after surgery. This helps wake the intestines and that is the key to recovery and going home. Walk the day of or immediately after depending on what time your surgery is. The nurses will know.
Stay on top of the pain but don't try to use so much pain medication that you have none at all. The pain meds delay the waking of the intestines.
I think George may have forgotten what ileal conduit is or missed it in your post. You are not going to have any internal storage so continence really isn't a question. You will always wear the bag. You can still do pretty much everything with the bag including scuba diving if you so choose.
The urethra problems rule out a neobladder but not an Indiana Pouch. Not sure if you spoke with your doctor about that option.
Quite a few folks here with ileal conduit so they will be prepared to give you all sortsvof great pointers on urostomy supplies, skin care around the stoma, different products to try out, etc. some is trial and error but in time it will become second nature.
Keep up a positive attitude. Keep us informed. Keep studying and ask us anything. Btw, be sure your doc is planning to do nerve sparing surgery for the prostate removal. You want a surgeon who does tons of these. It is closely associated with better outcomes.
Best of luck!
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...