Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I agree we do need that second opinion, even if it is to find a doctor who is more patient-centered.
Well, we had to go from southwest Virginia to North Carolina and Duke for an oncologist, and I'm thinking that I need to call Cole's oncologist there to get a referral to one of that medical center's specialists. So far, there has been no explanation why my husband's creatinine levels rose so high following the chemo. When we phoned his oncologist, he said that the creatinine would have been out of his system by then. I am disappointed that the nephrologist had no interest in discovering how Cole arrived at those high levels.
And, yes, he is depressed, but he is not interested in any meds to help with that. I know--I phoned his doctor about his condition, but when I put my husband on the phone, he bravely told the doctor that he was 'fine' and didn't need anything. I am hopeful that he will be able to get his arms around this new development, accept it and get on with the job of dealing with it/fighting it. I keep telling him that Stage 4 is not the same as Stage 5, when it's time for dialysis or transplant (which the nephrologist said can be done two or more years out from cancer treatment).
As you can tell, I am the Pollyanna in our marriage. They say it's easier to smile than frown, but these days my smile is there, held in place by duct tape!