Hi, welcome on behalf of your father in law, who is lucky to have you.
Lately there have been articles published saying that the elderly have higher complication rates after bladder removal, stressing the importance that one be in very good general health to qualify for this surgery. Given the fact that most blc occurs in the elderly, they'd better have some good alternatives!
The chemo/radiation/"combined modalities" treatment your FIL desires is a very rough protocol, many scopes and follow ups, a lot more coming and going to the cancer center, and also requires that a person be in very good health otherwise, plus the tumor must be solitary, not blocking a ureter and preferably in the dome of the bladder. There are strict qualification criteria. We have a page here:
blcwebcafe.org/combinedmodalities.asp
All the being said, the patient's choice should be the first concern. I just hope he's in good shape and can benefit from whichever treatment he chooses with the least trouble possible.
Wendy