I remember the "Telling the Story" period. It was, at times, an easy conversation, and others, a huge soul baring session.
When we returned from the Urologist, we were too stunned to tell anyone for a while. Telling the kids(grown) was "interesting." They view cancer differently than older adults. Even though they were concerned, they did not have the attitude that I was handed a death sentence. The girls were very confident that modern medicine was going to take care of this.
When I told my older father and mother, it was another story completely. As I said the word cancer, my dad just kind of slumped in his chair. He was sure I was not going to survive cancer. So few did in his day. Cancer was a death sentence years ago. I ended up reassuring him that I was going to be OK. I also stopped giving him a Play by Play of my treatments. I was afraid that too much information would cause him to worry too much. My mother suffers from Alzheimers and each 10 minutes is a new experience for her. I also didn't need to add the cancer burden to my dad's already stressful life as a caregiver.
The next group to be told was my dealership staff. I just flat out gathered everyone together and told them as a group. I asked that they work professionally and cover for me. My shortest term employee has been with us for 7 years, so we are family. Everyone, and I mean Everyone, pitched in and put aside petty differences to keep the place humming as usual. After Surgery, my wife visited the Dealership and met with everyone again. She said the support was palpable. Even the tough mechanics were concerned.
The final group was friends and community members. I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. I decided NOT to keep this a secret. I was afraid if the rumor mill got working, it would say "He's got cancer, He's dead"
I spoke with everyone I came in contact with about it. I would quickly put their concerns at ease. I was so sure that I would beat this, I convinced them. Word got around that I was going to be fine. I soon became a "go to guy" when someone wanted to talk about cancer(friend, family, or themselves). The interesting thing was the people who came to me looking for a positive side to their cancer concerns. Some thought I had cancer "lite" because I kept telling them I was going to be OK. I did NOT show anyone my scar!
One year after my RC, I had a hip replacement. I kept the same attitude going.
Some people think I had a ton of crap thrown on top of me, and life treated me unfairly. I tell them "This IS Life" I am NOT a NASCAR fan, but I took a phrase from one of the teams..... I Refuse To Lose!
One last thing. I had some shirttail friends that came rushing to my side wanting to help or just "be there" I also had very good friends who suddenly "couldn't handle it" and stayed away. There are many ways that people deal with cancer and cancer patients. They are still your friends either way.
It appears as though how "the news" is broadcast, has as many variants as the weather. You just have to know what is right for you!
George