Tom,
Glad to hear you are going in tomorrow. See my post above about how they do the procedure. NO, they
DO NOT go through your abdomen for this procedure. While the tumor may now be the 'size' of a golf ball it is not the consistency of a golf ball. You can tell what it's like in the video. They are not pulling a golf ball out through your penis. They are taking pieces and drawing them up through the cystoscope. It's soft tissue.
As Pat said, if he says he's going through your abdomen to do it, then get off the gurney and get the heck out of there because it means your guy doesn't know what the heck he's doing. I am sure that is not the case.
Almost all doctors come out to tell the folks waiting about how the surgery went. He doesn't really know much until the pathology report comes back but he can tell her how you did through the surgery and such. Just to be sure though, ask him if he can let your wife know after surgery. I'm assuming she'll be with you in the pre-op area when the doctor comes to see you prior the procedure.
At the very least, it is good to know the dang thing is out tomorrow. Hopefully, that will make you feel a little bit better about things.
Then the darn waiting starts for the pathology report. Waiting sucks!
If it is cancer, you then want to have the slides sent to a pathology department at one of the major cancer centers for a double check. Your urologist may even do that for you if you ask. If not, then it is easy enough to request your slides and send them yourself. You want to be absolutely sure of good margins all the way around the tumor and the reading itself in terms of stage and grade.
Then you need to get another TURBT in six weeks or so to be sure they got it all.
Before surgery you may want to ask him if he is planning to do a mitomycin wash. This is often done to help prevent any seeding of cancer cells in case it is cancer. They put it into the bladder directly. Since they are cutting the tumor and surrounding tissue you don't want cancer cells seeding any other areas of the bladder.
Write that down to bring with you so you don't forget. I've always found that morning of surgery isn't the best time for remembering things you wanted to ask and writing it down helps (if you can remember to pull the paper out of your pocket).
I think I asked my wife to have the paper so I wouldn't forget.
Best of luck tomorrow! Let us know how it all goes once you are home.
Mike