Hi Barney,
You have come to the right place for help and information. You will probably have a time lag before replies come in as you are in the Uk, although there are some members there. I am sure you will get the help you need. When you say that the first TURB was incomplete I presume that means either that they did not get clear margins, or that the sample examined by the pathologists did not contain muscle ( which would show how far the tumour had grown into the bladder wall). That could account for a staging of Ta which was understaged. But they did the right thing by carrying out a second TURB.Until Monday you will not know presumably whether the staging is now different from the original diagnosis, or whether they want to offer a different course of treatment. My sister in the UK (I am in Spain) has recently been diagnosed with cancer, and I will say she seems to have had several meetings with her team with regard to treatment, I do believe the NHS is doing more now to keep patients well informed as to treatment options, so perhaps the meeting is just to keep your friend "in the loop".
I am sure others more knowledgable than myself will put you on the right road as to which questions to ask. You are doing things the right way by accompanying your friend to the meeting and preparing your questions in advance.
All the best,
Diane