Hi Bunny
I'm not sure what the privacy rules are in the UK but here in the USA the patient has to sign written consent to discuss information with someone--even a spouse.
My husband is more than glad to have me work as his personal secretary, appointment maker, telephone call screener, test preparer, medication dispensor, question queen and so on and so on :
However I still let him think he is the boss. Do you hear what I'm saying? ;D
But seriously I do make sure he understands totlly what the choices of this difficult life altering surgery is all about. I do not want him to feel that he should have made a different decision a year down the road.
Lots of guys are stubborn and try to protect the woman they love from additional stress and worrying. Maybe a frank discussion with him stating that you want to be involved will help him understand that in this situation two minds are better than one.
I would also request a sit down time with the doctor to get a straight answers as to exactly what stage, type and treatment plans are available.
Take care.