Maude, I am new to the world of BC. AND a sexual abuse survivor (from age 3 mo to 11 yrs - dear Father was perp) and had severe Genital warts as a child/young adult that were later attributed to perp. Doctors are not ruling the warts/abuse out as a "contributing factor but not necessary cause". And my PTSD symptoms are roaring again. I am angry that I am having to go back into therapy because "I thought" I was "cured" however, when I combine this info with my belief (and limited understanding) of Chakras, I have to now think that I had simply found ways to think and act "cured" while in reality some of the emotional damage is still there, still working negatively on my psychie.
Everything Wendy said in her paragraph 1 and 2 applies to me.
I quit smoking cigs in Nov 05 (but was still sneaking a butt left behind by family (husb/all children/most friends smoke, cough-cough), am obese by current medical definitions, and really not getting on with anything in life (just kinda bumping along).
I even started saying I "Just" have bladder cancer and was recently busted on that by my BC Care coordinator - minimizing myself again. In talking to care coordinator at our local cancer center (Have you gone to one? ) she pointed out A LOT of the minimizing I did in refering to myself and through listening to her, I realize I was not_done_yet with the affects of sexual abuse.
My family does not want to hear it (the abuse thing, mostly because 2 other sisters were abused by him but do NOT want to deal with it), my husband listens patiently but really does not get it. So, I have been tricking myself into living a life of silence about the one thing in my life that makes me want to SCREAM the most.
So, back into sexual abuse therapy I go. I will find a cancer support group NEXT.
I also am seeking someone to teach me how to pray. I do not mean how to say The Lords Prayer type prayer, but mean more so that I tend to not ask for things for myself because I feel selfish and unworthy. Well, wake up Iris, right now selfish is one of the resources I need to use the most to get me through this.
Well, so, "scientifically", Maude, I/we may not be able to prove any connection but I know what I know in my heart and I believe it is all connected.
Blessings,
Iris
P.S. I also want to say this---> and need to post it else where to get feedback: I had a metallical "smell" in my nose and could taste a metallic taste in my mouth from Dec 05 to 4/7/06. Tumor was identified 3/27/06 and was 2.5 inches wide. I woke up from TURB on 4/7/06 with the metallic taste being gone for the first time since Dec. 05 and has not returned.