Hi Linda,
I followed Pat's example and got an Indiana Pouch...spent hours reveiwing comments on this website and checking other sources of information so to make the best decision I could for myself. The first urgologist I had who did my TURB told me he could do a pouch for me...said he was good, had done lots of them and had only one leaker. Well, I didn't like the sounds of "leaker" even if it was only one. He apparently didn't do neo-bladders or if he did, he didn't want to share that info. with me or he didn't do them for women. I agree with you...it's just not right when doctors don't tell us there are three options...and tell us only what they can do for us.
I talked on the phone to one doctor who did do the neo for women but he matter of factly told me they had to cath themselves...I didn't like that idea. The surgeon that I finally chose, told me he could do a pouch for me but would not even consider a neo for a woman because there is too high a rate of hypercontinence and leaking. I didn't like hearing that news but came to appreciate his honesty after learning how tough it is for women to be successful with the neo bladder.
If you want to read more about my thoughts on the pouch, go to the Invasive section and read "Bummer", my response to Gracie, which was written yesterday.
I suspect there are women who believe strongly in the skill of their surgeon so much so that they will trust he can make the best decision for them, but we are the one who has to live with the results, not the doctors. I know you will make the best choice. You are asking all the right questions and being at the forum gives you a great view of how people adjust and recover. Take care, Melodie