Hey Kjab,
Gee, what a tough situation for your Dad and your family.
The thing about BCG is, that he might not have bad side effects, in fact, the first two or three treatments are a total piece of cake.
About the 4th treatment, the situation begins to change a little. The pain and some bleeding may occur.
During the treatment, your Dad is suppose to hold the urine for about 2 hours and your Dad(or Mom) will have to pour bleach in the toilet every time he voids. Your Mom or the Caretaker should not come in contact with his urine for 6 hours.
I think I see where the Uro is going with this. Your Dad is probably too old for surgery, but the disease needs to be treated.
This is a tough choice.
BTW, do you know what was the stage and grade of the tumor?
Please feel free to come and talk this situation out loud with us (so to speak.)
Your new friend,
Rosemary