Yes, you are facing some very difficult issues. Wish we could do more to help you with them.
It seems as if you are the one that is carrying a huge part of this load. Please remember that your husband needs you now. You need to get on top of your health issues, whatever they are, and get them taken care of so that you will be there to be strong for him.
As others have pointed out, there could be multiple other reasons for the lab abnormalities that have come up. AND, if the diagnosis were to be bladder cancer, a lot of it is highly treatable. Practically all of us who are posting on this forum, and the over 4,000 registered users, have been diagnosed with bladder cancer and are still here to talk about it with you.
Yes, it is always better to find something earlier, rather than later. But a two-year period is not that unusual.
Get this, whatever it is, diagnosed and, hopefully, taken care of. After you have a definitive diagnosis you will have time to think about your response. I lost my husband to cancer, so I know how frightening this realization can be. Stay strong for both of you.
Sara Anne