Kimbob -
I know exactly how you feel!! I went thru Bladder cancer and am now going thru chemo without insurance. My husband and I are self-employed and WERE in very good health, but even then the premiums were just too high.
You will find an answer for any question you ask on this site. Here are some of my ideas for you:
Start right now and go to your Dr. and let him/her in on your situation. No Dr. (at least the good ones) will turn you away and will help you find a financial deal that works for you. Also go to the financial center at the hospital and tell them the same thing. They'll start a process with you to find alternative means for payments and help with discounts. These will take time, but you should not delay treatment - keep pushing forward. You two together are your best advocates and you determine what happens and sometimes how fast it happens.
Home care -
This is what I did after RC (radical cystectomy) -
Recliner - if you have one great. If you don't borrow or buy one. This will be the easiest place to rest, sleep, eat, etc.
Bed pads - Depends and I think Poise have a bed pad (big flat thing like for under a baby). Get some to use on the recliner, and if you are brave enough to sleep in a real bed. These are disposable and can make a rough night much better. I have used these since I came home and never had to change the sheets in the middle of the night.
You will probably come home with a sewn in catheter in the stoma and a couple of drains from the kidneys. If the hospital sends you home with a couple of basins (about 10 x 12 x 6) put all the drain tanks(!) in one of the basins and then into a cheepee recycling grocery bag with handles. Much easier to haul around and discrete when sitting in your recliner entertaining visitors.
Food will have different tastes than you are used to. East what tastes good, even if it's icecream for breakfast. You will need lots of protein - get it where ever you can. Eat easy foods that are not going to cause digestion issues. A bite or two of your favorites if you feel up to it, but don't overdo it. YOu don't want back door issues now. LOTS OF FLUIDS (especially water). Letting yourself get dehydrated is going to cause you MAJOR problems with your pouch (if you get one - and I think the best solution for women).
Once you are thru the tether stage, you'll start training. Your Dr. will probably say to cath every two hours. Even tho' this means only sleeping every two hours, do not bend the rules and use a foley catheter at night. This will slow down the training and keep you home bound longer. And you'll aready be cabin feverish. There is a great watch on the market made for children to help them learn to not ignore the call of nature (4-5-6-7 year olds). It has a auto-reset timer and very easy to adjust. It's called a Vibra-lite 3, I made leaps and bounds in pouch training with this little gadget. About $60, worth every penny.
Since you're about to try going away from home - during the day I use a maternity nursing pad over my stoma with some 3M paper tape (no adverse reaction). Protects the stoma and catches any drips, and if you start to leak you will feel the wetness and can get to a bathroom. At night I use a poise pad sideways, just tucked into my underwear.
Catheters - If you got an Indiana pouch, you now have a "clean "system. Because of this, you can wash your catheters and reuse them. If you find a source that will supply you enough to use a sterile oneevery time, go for it! BUT if you have to wash them, use a anti-bacterial DISHWASHING soap, hot water, let them air dry on a towel and your good to go. When I travel, my kit contains: clean catheters in a ziplock freezer baggie, a regular ziplock baggie for the dirty ones(bring them home to wash them, throw the dirty baggie away), extra tape, extra nursing pads, one nighttime pad(in case). It all goes in a cosmetic bag and NO BODY KNOWS!!!
Food - you may find that foods that you ate before that never gave you a moments problem and now a problem. Dairy, citrus, specific fruit or vegatable (mine is brocolli), will cause leaking. Everyone is different, you'll learn what yours will be as time goes on.
I know this sounds overwhelming and I totally know how you feel, and everyone else on the site will have ideas and ways to get thru and move on. Keep asking questions - we're here for both of you.
Lynda