Frannie,
There are fairly "standard" treatment recommendations, based on stage at the time of first discovery of bladder cancer. Nothing is written in stone - overall condition of the patient, specific situation of the cancer, patient preference and doctor/care team practice all converge on a treatment.
As patients it is up to us to ask for recommendations and expected outcomes; alternative recommendations; second opinions and become comfortable with OUR choice(s).
The following link to an American Cancer Society paper - "Treatment of Bladder Cancer, by Stage" offers an overview, a STARTING point for understanding options and discussions with the doctor and care team.
www.cancer.org/cancer/bladder-cancer/treating/by-stage.html
Thank you for being there for your husband.
Best,
Jack