Sorry to be a while replying to you. I know exactly how you feel, but it gets better with time. at first I don·t think one hour went by without it worming its way into my thoughts. One thing I did find helped was going to the gym - it·s just impossible to work out and worry at the same time ! And it really makes you feel more in control, and that you are doing something yourself to fight back. If you·re up to it I can really recommend it for the <feelgood> factor. I also just keep reminding myself that I am a really LUCKY person, to have found out that I had a problem in time to have the best available treatment. Don·t worry -be happy.
All the best Flamenco
I understand how you feel because I certainly have been there. There were days when I totally forgot I ever had cancer, but many more when my fears kept surfacing. I hope you have good people around you for support. I'm starting BCG next week, and my long-time coworkers know it. That's a good and bad thing. Some come up to me frequently and ask if I've started my treatments yet, how are my treatments going, how am I doing with my treatments, etc, and I haven't even started yet! I know they mean well, but to be reminded of it several times a day is not a good thing. I'm being treated like a cancer victim, not a person. I'm going to have to tell them that they can open a conversation with me by saying a sentence without "treatment" in it. My point is, it's good to talk to people who are helpful and supportive; they will help you get through it. You may have to coach some people in how to be supportive, and avoid those who can't or won't be. When I am feeling fear or sadness about my cancer, I talk to someone who understands, or write a message here, and it helps me.
I hope the next 3 months goes by faster for you than you think it will right now, and that you have nothing but good news at that time.
Gman there are no tricks for this but the waiting is the hardest part without a doubt. I had so many tests done with my tumor there were days I thought my heart was going to jump out of my mouth. Easier said then done but what I did was focus as positive as I could and keep myself busy. You can't put BC in the past man that be nice because it is part of your life now. Hang in there and think positive and you'll be ok. Joe