Mollypal, So sorry to read of your diagnoses. Have been through my share of cancers also. I know how down one can feel early on and how the whole thought process can ware you out.
It's normal for you to be going through a grieving process. But then you have to pick yourself up and start focusing on a plan to get the cancer out of your system. It is a very tough time and you may feel the cancer is consuming you, but you can get through this. There is a large group of people here to support you.
Wishing you the best.
Duke