Symptoms that we cannot figure out

He could benefit from another 'scraping', it might help these symptoms a lot, but would not be a cure. A procedure to remove the existing tumor as much as possible could help his quality of life, which is the main goal...

My sister could not qualify for hospice because she was unwilling to give up the TPN , which is liquid nutrition given intravenously (we did this at home). The burden on the family was intense, with no doctor in charge, either...but she did not want to go on hospice care.

Sometimes going into hospice will mean that other types of procedures will disqualify a person. It might be good to be clear about what might or might not be permitted regarding interventions that can improve quality of life before committing to hospice. Such as removing the blockage, or using radiation to shrink the tumor.

However you cut it you and your family are in a very hard situation and I send my best wishes to you all, and hope you can find the best path as soon as possible.
Wendy

Vdaughter,

I can't recommend Hospice more for any situation more than for yours. You can help your father understand ( or they will ) that his wishes can be fullfilled. He doesn't have to go to the hospital, but he doesn't have to suffer either. Please call them to find out what they are about, They will be so willing to talk to you. It sounds like your father had a bad experience or experiences with hospitals, (maybe when his parents died?) His wishes should be honored, I completely agree with that, you will only regret not following them later if you force anything on him. But at the same time Hospice can help your family get through this too. Please call them.

Karen

Thank you for all of the information, it has helped us at least see where we're at with all of this. My Dad is not being seen by any doctors, only by his choice. My Mom & I have urged and pled with him time and time again, even as recently as this morning, to go back to the doctor and he absolutely refuses. He is already having clots, right now they small. Since they live about an hour away from the nearest hospital, I did go online & ordered some self cathederization kits for him, so hopefully the pain won't be as bad until my Mom can get him to the hospital (and that is providing that he will even go). The last doctor that he did see, showed him how to use the cathederization kits, so I figured that was probably the only thing I can do at the present time. My Mom & I are going to have the "Hospice" talk as soon as possible so we can get that set up. I'm wondering if I should start going there to stay with them soon? Any suggestions, as usual are greatly appreciated!

Vdaughter,

He needs to go to the emergency room. If he is bleeding that much. It will start to clot, and he will be unable to pee at all. I do know this from personal experience as my husband waited and then went to the emergency room due to the fact he couldn't urinate, and was in extreme pain, after all was said and done he lost 3 units of blood (the body only has 8 ) and was in surgery 2x's. It is possible to bleed to death, and that is not necessary in 2007. It will not stop on its own unfortunately. . He needs medical attention regardless of the decisions not to go further with the treatment, they can still treat symptoms, or eliviate pain. He should be monitored as he is dying too. There is no need to suffer like that. Take him to the ER, and talk to the Social Services Dept. they will help set up hospice, either at home, or in a facility depending on his and your family's needs.

God Bless You, I know how hard this is. I put my Dad in Hospice 2 yrs. ago Sept. He also had COPD, and ended up on a forced breathing machine before we put him there. They are a very unique group of people (almost like angels on earth) they will help your father during this time, and make sure he isn't in any pain, but they will also help your family tremendously. I still have a lady that calls to see how I am 2 yrs. after my father passed.

If you need anything please PM me. I would be happy to help.

Karen

Its a sign that his tumor/tumors are causing hematura...he needs a urologist. Or at least take him to an E.R....It can get to the point where he will not be able to urinate at all. Why might i ask is a urologist not being seen? If its his wishes not to do anything at all I guess you call Hospice. Pat

Well, I tried the suggestions that I was given. I did call the Dr. and ask about clinical trials, but my Dad didn't want to do any of that. He is now bleeding a lot. From what my Mom tells he it has increased a lot over just the past few days. Is this a normal progression and any ideas of what can be done about it, if anything??? Any comments or suggestions would be helpful. Is this a sign that we should be contacting Hospice???