Hi Sara Anne,
Thank you for the kind words. I have thought about Hospice, but I thought that one of the requirements was that the client had to be only receiving palliative care, not treatment? My brother probably would not accept that as an option. I will, however,contact them for my benefit. It's really only a matter of time (very short) before he'll need 24 hr care. I will go to TX at that time to take care of him.
Unfortunately this is not my first time at the BC rodeo. My father was dx'ed with the same thing in 2004. He was not a candidate for chemo due to his age and health. I was the primary caregiver when he was put into hospice. He passed away 3 days later, but not from the BC. We suspect he had a blood clot in his lungs after his surgery to remove 3/4's of the bladder. There's no autopsy when one is in hospice. He was bedridden,very alert, not on any pain meds yet, and also in deep, deep, denial.
My brother is just as stubborn as my dad but is deteriorating rapidly. I'm sure he'll continue to fight up until his last breath. I just need to be there to make sure he doesn't hurt himself getting out of bed, or hurt anyone else by driving while medicated.
Our family handles crises with humor. My bro told me he wasn't sure he wanted me to take care of him because I don't have a very good track record. My mother also passed away at home after having a massive stroke and I was the one she called before she died. I was the one to call 911, and be there when she passed away. I guess my bro's right!
Anyway, thank you again. I'm so glad to have found this forum.
Julie