I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Maybe the most important question is, is his cancer treatable? Would this aggressive protocol be intended as curative? If not, perhaps you should discuss best supportive care with an eye to quality of life.
Chemo is almost always given for metastasized bladder cancer no matter what the cell type. Radiation is given to treat localized symptoms such as blockage or pressure on a nerve from tumor, or bone involvement, and it usually works. How long things stay under control is something nobody can really predict.
We have a list of considerations for when someone has stage IV cancer on webcafe, I copy,
blcwebcafe.org/metatcc.asp
Benefits from treatments include control of symptoms and possible prolongation of life. The most important concerns are:
Will further treatments improve my quality of life?
Will benefits outweigh risk and discomfort?
Will further treatments add to survival?
What feels most comfortable to me?
Do I feel I can manage the side effects of each treatment option? What kind of support will I have from family or friends? Outside agencies?
Many studies cite the addition of 2-3 months to a person's life as justification enough for aggressive chemotherapy. Ask your doctor how many patients he's treated with the same therapy and how the patients did. Palliation of symptoms alone is still a valid goal in metastatic cancer.
Because the needs of metastatic patients are highly individual and many of the treatments are still experimental, there are no standard guidelines available to either the patient or the doctor. In some cases the decision is determined by whose opinion you seek — a surgeon will recommend surgery, an oncologist chemotherapy or a radiation oncologist radiation therapy. Often, the patient and family must decide on the course of treatment. .
Find out all you can about what drugs they are thinking of using and let us know.
Ultimately it's your father in law who must make this decision.
Wendy