If Vanderbilt is out of network for you, you may want to contact your insurance to see what your options are. It could be you have to travel somewhere but the travel may cost less than the difference in out of network versus in network.
With regard to the internet, there are very good sites (like this one and some cancer centers) and there are bad ones. If you read on sites about drinking crystals or some lotion or potion that is for sale, then that's a good sign that it is not a good one.
I agree with everyone here that you MUST get a second opinion and it sounds like you are not comfortable with your doctor. That is a strong indicator that you should get a new doctor. You should have confidence in your doctor and should check around until you find one you feel confident with. Any doc that gets defensive over the question of "how many have you done" has most likely not done enough!
With that said, I will tell you that not all of the great docs in uroligic oncology are super with patient interaction. Mine was but I'm all the way in Colorado. When I went to MD Anderson (one of the best in the world), I was not happy at all with the doctor. My doctor knew the doctor at MD Anderson and told me he was highly respected and does great work. I just had a bad experience there that pretty much turned me off. It turned out the guy was right but he did not make me feel comfortable at all. We had to wait over six hours (after our scheduled appointment and the lights were out and the rest of the staff had gone home by the time he came in). My wife and I were not in a good mood by the time he arrived. SO...I opted to get my surgery done at University of Colorado Cancer Center instead of MD Anderson.
It's all a personal choice.
Best of luck with your surgery. Let us know how it goes. Lots of folks here with experience who can help you out.
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...