Wish I knew what to expect

Junebug, I am a bit jet-lagged at present, but when I saw your post, I had to chime in. The next few months will be difficult, but rewarding to your family, as you all learn and decide and ponder and come together. My husband died of metastasized bladder cancer in November, and, if I had it to do over, I would not have pushed for the last two chemos. I think his quality of life would have been better.

That's my two cents worth. Let us know more about your dad, and his history, and his treatment plan, and what sort of talks you have had with him and your mom. I think there are people here with lots of experience that could be of help. Don't be afraid to come out of lurk mode and ask questions.

Stephany in Iowa (finally)

My dad has been dealing with bladder cancer for 3 years now. First had a cystectomy, then chemo, then radiation (mets to urethra), then more chemo (mets to bone), and the cancer is back now with few to no further options. The doctor has offered him one more round of milder chemo (not the gemzar combo but some other one), although it does not appear that it will make much of a difference.

I will be lurking here in the future, particularly because I am uncomfortable not knowing what to expect next. I know from past discussions that absent treatment, his life expectancy will be 6 to 9 months. What I don't know is how it works, exactly. Will it be a gradual decline or a series of precipitous drop-offs? My mom is his primary caregiver and I live 6 hours away, with 2 kids (one of whom is five years old and autistic). I am also the closest child/backup person for my parents. Its so hard to plan what to do next!! (I'm thinking for now planning a visit every 3 weekends or so, with more frequent visits later, but I don't know . . .)

Thanks for listening!