My father too!

15 years 10 months ago #17112 by momof4
Replied by momof4 on topic My father too!
Floeshoe,

If there is any information that you would like...or just want to PM me feel free. I think we are a little further ahead than your Dad on this road...I hope that I can help you somehow...

Best Wishes,
Karen

Caregiver for my Wonderful Husband Angelo, who has Metastatic Bladder Cancer.

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

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15 years 10 months ago #17105 by driscolls
Replied by driscolls on topic My father too!
Hi Floshoe,

I understand completely how you are feeling. My dad was diagnosed with BC in February 2004. After many treatments (BCG and Mitomycin) he had his bladder removed in September, 2005. Initially told that he was cancer-free. Less than a year later, we learned that it had spread to his pelvis, rectum and stomach. What a horrible day that was!

As for the questions about pain management, he rarely suffered from any real pain. In fact, one month before he died he drove to the beach for our annual family vacation. His discomfort, and later suffering, had to do with the fact that he could not hold down any food. Most of his problems near the end were with digestion.

I know his cancer returned in a different place than your dad’s and every case is so different. My heart broke and my stomach got that awful feeling when I read your post. I was very close to my dad and the only child who lived near him. It is so hard to watch your “hero” suffer, but my greatest comfort was in the fact that I was there for him whenever he needed me and I didn’t have any regrets or guilt when he died.

My dad died nearly three years ago and I still come to this site every single day. I am here if you have more questions or if you just want to vent or cry.

My prayers are with you and your family,
Debi

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15 years 10 months ago #16959 by Gene Beane
Replied by Gene Beane on topic My father too!
Glad to hear your mom is doing well and there as a primary caregiver. I am not knowledgeable in the metastisized situation. I will keep you in my prayers as Karen is certainly the one to help you out in that venue. Ginger

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15 years 10 months ago #16952 by floshoe
Replied by floshoe on topic My father too!
Hi, Ginger.

Thanks for the information. My dad is 77. His oncology and urology teams are at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Kentucky. I have been very satisfied with the care he is getting. My mom is 69 and in excellent health, so she is a very good primary caretaker. I am sort of the second line of defense, there for visits, crises, unexpected hospitalization, and caregiver relief.

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15 years 10 months ago #16849 by Gene Beane
Replied by Gene Beane on topic My father too!
Hi,
I am very sorry to hear about your dad, I think for me, if I were you I would
find out as much as you can about the situation from his doctor,then you can put to rest that you are over reacting in any way, get his actual prognosis, time frame. I also don't think you are obcessing about this, 3 years ago my dad had open heart at age 87 in Tucson arizona,,,he did great until a staff infection in his leg at the surgery site, he called me here in Ohio and I was on a plane the next day,,,I dropped everything and I am so grateful I did. This was Nov. over the next 5 months he rallied from being home to being back in rehab, I spent 6 weeks with him over that period of time,,I was fortuneate my children are married, my husband self sufficient, sort of,,,this was MY DAD, I didn't ask if I could go I just went!!! He passed away March 25th of that year from all the complications.
Maybe he could come be with you,,I am sure he would love the company,,is your mom with him?? As his caregiver, AND WHERE IS HE BEING TREATED, HOW OLD IS HE?????
We are here to help!!!!! Recently we had a member named Heenan,,,her dad also was in a similar situation Heenan moved her dad with her and her husband and he is getting treatment near her,,,, maybe not everyone can do this but it is just another case of being closer to dad at this time.......,Ginger

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15 years 10 months ago #16844 by floshoe
My father too! was created by floshoe
My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer 2 years ago. I have lurked here on and off, as he went through the cystectomy 2 years ago, a recurrence in the urethra last year which was treated with radiation, and now a metastasis to the bone, which, from my understanding, is the end game. They are going to start another round of chemo next week, but, frankly, I am getting a very strong impression that they don't think it will do much. No one seems to be rushing to get him into treatment anymore.

I will be looking for some support over the next months. I am particularly worried about the pain issue. Also, it is very hard for me not knowing exactly what the next year is going to look like! I am the closest child, but I still live 5 1/2 hours away and have two kids (including a 5 year old with autism).

I think the smartest "short term" advice I've heard is from a friend whose mom died of cancer a few years ago. He regrets that he did not visit more during the first, relatively healthy months post-diagnosis. I am going to see them in a couple of weeks to hopefully get in some quality time before things go downhill.

Anyway, thanks for listening! My husband thinks I am "obsessing" about this too much, but how can I not?

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