Dear Julieann,
Your willingness to support your mother and her choices is exactly what she needs.
When you said she's seen siblings have bad chemo experiences, boy, could I relate, and that explains a lot. We've all heard horror stories about such things but when it hits close to home...
My sister's treatments for breast cancer were so toxic, she was so ill, I decided then and there if I were in that position I would refuse treatment. And when I found myself in that position a year or so later, I did refuse chemo but was lucky with other treatments.
If someone is terrified of chemo, it probably won't help. That's my observation over the years.
That said, I've seen people respond well to chemo for bladder cancer, and it is being given pre- or post-op more and more these days. Ten years ago it was hardly ever given until metastasis had occurred and then it was palliative anyway.
She may change her mind; there is Gemzar to try, which is much less toxic than most drugs and could be tried as a single agent in this setting. Also Xeloda- this is a chemo in pill form, and said to be less toxic than most. As mentioned elsewhere, radation is an option to treat symptoms.
Sometimes cancer grows in fits and then is quiet for a while and stays dormant. She may have plenty of quality time. I have read that 5% of cancer patients live 5 years without any treatments at all! (Ralph Moss, Cancerdecisions.com)Considering how many people in the world don't have access to treatment, I'm sure this is true.
The biggest risk with untreated bladder cancer is blockage of a ureter, urine retention leading to infections of the kidney. There are ways to treat this.
Have you looked at the section for metastatic cancer and end of life issues?
Best wishes to you, and for your mother's well being,
Wendy
