Usually chemo such as you have had is done prior to cystectomy; it is NOT curative.
Bladder removal surgery is certainly not fun but if done early enough it IS a cure. Most healthy patients recover well and adapt to the "new normal." We have members here who drive race cars, scuba dive, mountain climb....they lead very normal and enjoyable lives.
You also need to consider what the next few years will be like without surgery. Please discuss with your urologist what you might expect if you do not have surgery. Also how will your family handle this, when you could have been cured,
As Alan said, it is a very personal decision.
Sara Anne