My Mom\'s Story and Mine

Thank you so much for your reply. I have so many more questions and feel I'm at the right place to answer them. I appreciate your taking the time to respond to me.

My Dad was diagnosed at age 80 and had the surgery to remove bladder/prostate soon after. He did not have chemo since they caught it early enough. He was also in great condition for his age and was on the roof cleaning out the gutters the day before his surgery! However, it is a tough operation for a person of any age and it was not easy on Dad at 80. Also, I had not found this site yet so we most likely did not have the best, most experienced surgeon nor the best facility handling Dad's treatment. He had some complications after surgery involving a leak in the ureter where it joined the conduit and ended up staying in the hospital about 30 days. Yes, it could have happened to anyone getting the ileal conduit but I am convinced we did not have the best doctor doing the surgery. So, please do your homework in that regard.

Dad will celebrate his 86th birthday this month and is doing well. He has never been the same energy-wise since the surgery. But I feel very fortunate and blessed to still have him in my life. It took him a little while to get used to his "new normal" and wearing a pouch, but now it is just a part of his daily routine. He even "counseled" a man across the street from him who recently was diagnosed with bladder cancer and had the surgery. It was a "been there, done that" sort of thing!

I hope your Mom does well and I wish her the best on her upcoming "journey".

Mary, Welcome.

I am so sorry to hear about your mothers condition. But I am glad you found the site. I feel your mothers approach of lets face it one day at a time is a good one. The ultimate decision is her's. I am very happy to hear she has chosen to fight this.

I don't know how well she will handle the Chemo. It's different for everyone. But keep working with her doctors and keep them informed as to how well she is handling it so they know how to proceed. Keep a note book handy and take notes on everything involved in her treatment. If you don't understand something stop them and they will explain it more clearly. Make sure one of you always go to her appointments with her to listen to the doctors and ask questions.

Please read up on the treatments on our forum, and feel free to ask us anything you need to know. Someone will always try to answer your questions.

We are not doctors but these people are very, very good at helping with bladder cancer.

You should be very proud of your-self for taking the lead on trying to help your mother. I hope we can help you out along the way.

Mark

Hi All - My mom is in her 80s and has recently been diagnosed with invasive bladder cancer. She's had surgery to remove the tumor, and subsequently was told that it had invaded the muscle. So we were referred to an oncologist, and it appears she's facing chemo for four months, once a week - a rest and recovery period - and then the big surgery to remove her bladder early next year. I don't know much about all this. They are giving our family a "teach" on Tuesday next week to answer questions and introduce us to the team that will be working with her.

Mom is an independent 80+ woman who lives on her own and runs circles around me staying busy. She quilts, still drives, is involved in politics, knows more about computers than I do, is extremely bright minded, so not what one might typically think of an 86 year old as being. Me and my siblings all live nearby and are ready to help in any way possible to make this as easy as possible for her. It's her decision to move ahead with treatment. My brother is very concerned that the treatment itself will suck the life out of her. Mom pretty much wants to take it a week at a time and see how things go.

So that's my story. I've been very sad, but also the strong daughter my mother raised. Any thoughts or advice - or comments on what we can expect through chemo - are greatly appreciated. I've been looking for the proper forum for guidance and support, so hope I've found it here. I have no doubt this will be the hardest test of strength and character I'll ever face in my life, so thanks to anyone who reads me and can help me as I find my way through this time in my life. mary ^..^