I had a similarly diagnosed bladder cancer, same stage. I had the bladder, prostate, seminal vesicles, and a bunch of lymph nodes removed, the surgery following 8 rounds of 4-drug chemo. The surgeon installed an ileal conduit to a stoma in my belly. My robotic surgery was at the James Cancer Center at the Ohio State University.
To directly address the prostate question, in the post-surgery pathology exam it turned out I also had prostate cancer, while the lymph stuff was cancer-free. So taking my prostate was a good move for me. My experience may not directly transfer to your situation, since I didn't know about the prostate cancer until later.
I chose the ileal conduit and pouch system because from what I was able to find out in reading, acquiring control of a neo-bladder is not infrequently problematic, and at age 70 I'm not planning on going down to the beach in a Speedo to show off my abs any more.
Cosmetically my pouch is virtually unnoticeable. In the summer I normally wear t-shirts and still one has to look pretty close to see the top part of the pouch above my belt line.