Hi,
U Mich is a
great place. You're lucky to be able to go there for surgery. The doctors are tops.
I know a whole lot of women with neobladders. Also with internal as well as external pouches. None of them seem to be horribly discontent, in fact almost everyone seems grateful to be alive. The incontince thing is not always a problem, I have a feeling more women get hypercontinent which means they have trouble and need to catheterize through the urethra if they've got the neobladder. But they don't complain, it doesn't hurt...you get used to a lot in this game.
I had a mastectomy 7 yrs ago. I'm married. Treatments made me very fat, I gained 60 lbs the first year and was not skinny to begin with. Nobody but nobody in my life cared the slightest that I was lopsided and fat. I couldn't wear a prosthese for over 3 yrs because of nerve damage around the scar that was excruciating (doesn't happen to everyone, I was lucky). I seem to have lost my vanity. I don't have cleaveage anymore and that had been one of my most attractive qualities. Oh well! If I can walk around naked and still have a husband, I would hope you could have a neobladder or Indiana pouch and still find a lover.
Many women in our discussion group (
blcwebcafe.org/listinfo.asp
over the years have ended up with their bladders out, external pouches and still remain happily married. Once in a while cancer breaks up a marriage, this happens to the men too, it's horrible and I couldn't bear to think about how I would feel if that happened to me.
Like Greg said...if Heather could snag Paul with one leg....hey. There is hope!
Don't despair. Do what you have to do to stay alive and well. The world is a beautiful place.
Good luck with things.
Wendy