Good girl, maybe you'll hear from him soon. Now,, mom and dad shouldn't go to the appointments by themselves, its to chancy with your dads condition and your mom may not hear everything. It is so important for a younger set of ears be there. You can plan ahead, maybe ask a close friend to stay with the kids, or go with them in your place. With the 4 hour drive maybe staying overnite is a better idea, thats a long haul at any age in one day. We had a 30 minute drive to the Cleveland Clinic, and because of the stress issue it seemed like a very long day as well. This part of decision making is most important, the planning for all this takes priority, nothing to full around with. If she chooses surgery someone will have to set up close by residence at a hotel by the hospital, maybe your dad and yourself, after being released you have to see the Doctor one week later, staying in the nearby area for a week after she is released would be the best scenario in case of any issues she may have. If it is impossible for family to do this they have caregivers you can hire for a short period of time, I have no idea what the cost would be but I spoke with a few when at the Cleveland Clinic with my husband. Just a thought, it may not apply to your situation but worth knowing.
Well I hope I have been informative and not paniced you , its helpful to know the ins and outs and so important to plan for all this.
Ginger