I second the thought of getting to a major center (or at least to a doctor who does LOTS of surgeries.) Last year at this time, I couldn't convince my 80-year-old father how important this was and he suffered the consequences with pretty severe complications from his surgery. He did not have a bone scan before his operation nor several of the other X-rays/scans that should have been done. Heck, don't know why I think he would have those tests...he didn't even have the pre-op bowel prep! In case you couldn't tell, I'm being VERY sarcastic with that last statement. To me, Dad's less-than-stellar care just reinforces how important it is to have a highly experienced bladder surgeon and be in a reputable hospital. Just this week, Dad has moved on to a new urologist who is at a major university hospital in a nearby city and so far, we have seen a major difference in level of treatment. This doctor's office actually called Dad back when they said they would!! Amazing.
Dad has the external pouch and seems to be adjusting as it has been almost a year to the day since his surgery. One of the reasons he got this type of diversion was the doctor's thoughts that, at Dad's age, he might not possess the manual dexterity to cath as he got older if he happened to develop arthritis in his hands. My Mom currently does the changing for him twice a week even though I encourage him to do it himself.
My Dad, too, is young for his age (he was on the roof of the house the day before his surgery cleaning out gutters!) but has seemed to age quite a bit after the surgery. It was a slow process building his strength back up. I guess it takes a lot longer to recover from things as you get older. Now he is talking about doing the yard work again as soon as he recovers from his surgery next week to remove a urethral polyp.
Please get your Mom to a good hospital with a good doctor. Everyone on this forum will tell you that, and I know from experience what happens if you don't.