I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays...and yes, this cold winter weather stinks! I'm in Nebraska so we are close. In fact, I've driven thru Gaitlensburg (spelling?) many a times driving to Ohio to see my mom's family...I hate that drive
Florida will be a nice change of scenery.
My uncle keeps suggesting I go talk to someone...I don't know if I'm ready. I started to reupholster my dining room chairs, the ones my mom kept putting off helping with b/c she said it would be too hard and it's hard! My hands hurt and I was having a tough time and lost it thinking about how she was supposed to be there to help me. My husband told me to take a break and leave it for the next day. She was always the one that helped me, the one that was creative and took the lead when I was struggling. I'm sure my lesson is to learn to stand on my own two feet but I want her here to help and tell me I'm doing it wrong. I used to get so mad when she would say that but I would give anything to hear it again.
I keep replaying the 2 weeks before she passed in my head...wondering why she couldn't have said she would miss us or to make sure we do this or that. It was nothing. I need to let that go but I can't help but wish she would have been more interactive with us. I read an article that Keytruda can basically push the accelerator on tumor growth with people that have a certain gene mutation. Not sure if it's true or not, but I wonder if that happened to my mom. What happened to the 6 months we would get without treatment and maybe 12 months with treatment? How did her tumors double in size within 5 days after her first dose of Keytruda? I know that in the end, we would be where we are now but I can't help but question.
I'll be honest, I'm dreading the holidays. I don't want to have holidays without her. I will put on my game face and do it, but I really just wish it would go away.
I am so happy I was able to help you thru this in some shape or fashion. I know God puts people in our path that will help us and I'm sure we were meant to communicate. I will definitely keep you in the loop about my dad. His appointment is 11/22. I will lose my mind if they find something invasive and requires removal or anything. I don't know if I can do this again, not now. I don't feel like they will but I'm nervous at the same time.
I hope the race goes well...I made myself get out for a long run of 9 miles and it kicked my butt, but it's done, so now I know that 13.1 shouldn't be a problem. I did check out the bladder walks...I wish they had a half marathon. Maybe I will have to find someone here to start it. We have a colon run and all...why not bladder??
Hope you are doing ok and will be able to enjoy the holidays. I think going to Florida is a good move and being around people that love and support you.
Many prayers to you
Jennie