OK I do have a question

Since I am the one who set up the forum years ago I guess I am the one to answer that. We rarely see anyone here that is not actively seeking treatment outside of someone who has exasusted their options or have other factors. In the last ten years I personally have only seen maybe two or three such instances. That does not mean that there is not many more that just do not post here. Everyone decisions should of course be respected but somethings are outside of our scope of experience. This forum is not a place to give therapy or medical advice as we are not medical professionals. What we are is a group of survivors who share experiences and give encouragement. This forum is not right for everyone and every need there is no way it can be. If you are not finding what you need on the internet may I suggest a local therapist or cancer support group? Please understand our not having a special section for people not seeking treatment is not lack of careing it is simply a rare occurance.
I went back and read all of the posts you made even the ones you deleted and am left with more questions than answers. Using the internet for information can be a great thing but it can also lead to invalid assumptions if not all information applies to your indivigual situation. I would encourage you to get a second opinion that would really nail down your personal diognosis as well as seeking a therapist that can help you with your feelings as you deal with its ramifications.