I feel you, Ripme!
IMO trust of your doctors is an essential factor and we all are basically in the same situation. If you happen to live in a area close to a NCI recognized medical facility it makes the choices much easier and after all ease of treatment is a major factor in our medical decisions. I have chosen to use my local facilities versus traveling to a world recognized facility simply because of the logistical and financial impact. But always have that in mind as a option just in case.
In your case I would definitely consider a "center of excellence" and get another opinion before accepting a terminal diagnosis.
For me the good news is that most treatment protocols are developed and established in those major research treatment facilities through actual statistical results involving large numbers.
I have recently been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma as I concurrently am fighting bladder cancer. It might or might not be a factor with my treatments going forward. The treatments I am taking for NHL do affect my bladder and not sure how yet. From my experience a lot is just simply unknown and the focus is on treating each disease in a very specific and segregated manner.
In a perfect world I would hope their would be a round table discussion involving different specialists to come up with a plan of action going forward. Maybe that is just a TV point of view but I do think that is more likely in a major facility.
Best of luck. So far I have been pleasantly surprised by my chemo treatments. Not as bad as I imagined. They have come a long way in treating and managing the side effects of cancer treatment. You might be surprised but will never know otherwise. I wish you the very best regardless.
Peace and Love
08/16 Blood in Urine;09/16 CT Scan, RPG, Cysto;10/16 TURBT;12/08 BL TURBT;01/17 6X BCG;05/17 NED, 3X BCG, 9/17 NED, 3X BCG,1/18 NED, 3X BCG,7/18 NED, 3X BCG
