Raya,
Not to diminish your experience with your URO as I believe a second opinion is warranted, my URO told me my path report couldn't tell if they had enough muscle the 1st time hence a second TURB. At the same time he said any high grade reading is cause for a second TURB. Sloan Kettering certainly has a great reputation. I did stay with my URO for a variety of reasons not the least that he personally read the CT scan with the radiologist saying "no tumors visible or apparent in the urinary tract" and my URO said, "no I see the shadow and that is a tumor". Plus, when I had a question about antibiotics sometimes making low grade tumors read high (I was treated initially for a week to see if all I had was an infection-which is normal protocol), he replied he personally read it and it was high grade. To top that off he personally called my wife 1st (she worked at the hospital where he had privileges) to see if she or he should break the news about being high grade. She said no he is a big boy, tell him straight, which he did.
My point is: I was simply lucky with a great URO that knew what he was doing. In hindsight a second pair of eyes would have been good if I hadn't been so lucky. You will get through this and be better and stronger!