I am still trying to figure out how to navigate

I Thank you for the encouragement.. I'm hoping things make more sense as we get more information. The 1st few days I think I reacted worse than my husband who has the cancer.. I did at least manage to appear hopeful snd upbeat but inside I just felt so hopeless.. feeling like I was loosing my best friend.. we are getting advice to go to "cancer centers" vs docs in our area. I worked in medical field ( only scheduler for day surgery) but got to meet lots of the docs and nurses st local area hospital. We were told the urologist was one of the BEST in the area.. and I see the surgeon on our team was ranked best in our medical magazine for several years in a row. I think not being sure you are in the best hands possible is a scary thought ALL by itself.. my husband doesn't really want to leave this area and being this is his fight I think I should honor his wishes.. but...how do you put your life in someone's hands that you never met before?
Having worked with his scheduler has at least gotten us on a " fast track"..and urologist has coordinated a team of doctors. I felt pretty comfortable until people started to make other suggestions. Should I leave this decision totally up to my husband? Should I ask this ". Team"
If they are as qualified as the docs at cancer centers.. how do you choose?
How do you keep your thoughts and spirits up?

Hello
I am glad you found us here.
When I got the news more than 8 years ago, I went searching for answers and found this new site and learned what was going to happen.
My experience was similar to yours. The Dr walked in to the small exam room.... opened a metal folder..... looked at it for .000001 of a second and said "So. You have cancer".....
He started to click off the 10 steps that I was to go through and I heard NONE of them until he got to #10 "We will help you through the hospice program"
Luckily, I snagged him and said " I have a lot of things to accomplish and people who depend on me. I need you to look at me as a person, not just a being with cancer"

I also mad sure my wife and I BOTH went to the DR appointments.... With a notepad. So we could write down the Dr's instructions, and to remember to ask questions we came up with at home.

I know it is very scary. Cuz it is. It's cancer. But there is hope for recovery and there are many of us here to listen.

You are free to ask anything! Express your fears! Rant and howl at the moon.
It is OK here and we will try to help.

Best of luck with your journey. Remember that you and your husband are a TEAM. He needs you as much as he needs the Dr. Don't fall into a depression funk. It is easy to do and can cause as much pain as the disease.

We hope to hear from you again.

Sincerely
George

Karsonpaul,
For those of us who have had that moment when all the air got sucked out of an exam room when the word Cancer was spoken, and could not even think of what to say or ask until hours later, this site has been of great help.

There are no doctors here. There are people helping people understand and make sense of this disease and help by sharing real life experiences. This site has been my #1 place to really understand the implications of what the doctors say in those 15 minute consultations.

There are years of questions and replies here. I will suggest that you may want to explore the FORUM, starting with the CATEGORIES of "Newly Diagnosed" and "Invasive Bladder Cancer". You will find the questions and suggestions made by others; you can also ask your questions. CLICK on Forum, then click Categories, then select one category and read the questions other have posted, and the replies others have provided - some will match your questions and concerns.

As your husband is newly diagnosed, you may find the following link helpful. It is from the National Cancer Institute (NCI). It is a broad overview of Bladder Cancer (BC), and is a good overview (but not very specific) - many pages on many issues. A good starting point.

www.cancer.gov/types/bladder

Try to allow yourself time to breathe. It is hard to do so when suddenly diagnosed, but try. It will take a bit of time to get used to the changed circumstances.

Once you join, and it is an simple process that does not ask for nor encourage personal identification or information, you can post the questions that you have. Like most of us as we came to terms with our BC, I'm sure you will have many questions.

The moderators here are great, expect a comment form one soon.

Best
Jack

2+ years into the BC journey and counting

Not sure how I got here.. trying hard to figure out this site.. directions not clear.. or maybe it's my brain fog.
My husband was just diagnosed with bladder cancer.. it was like a punch in the gut as I'm sure you all know.
We are new here and new to cancer.
We only have gotten to 1st stage.. bladder biopsy was done and urologist explained next few steps.. was told it's an aggressive cancer and seems to be in the blood vessel pockets.. requiring chemo and removal of bladder... next visit is to oncologist.. but " coordinator " suggested because of having one kidney chemo may not be an option..(scared the bejesus) out of me... at this point I am trying to think positive but finding it very difficult. Hopefully with more info and better understanding will give me more hope.