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Husband having bladder removed

4 years 9 months ago - 4 years 9 months ago #48899 by amandah
My husband is only now having surgery after finding the first 2 chemo sessions unsuccessful.

He's opted for the ileal conduit but is now wondering if that's the right decision.

Would the indiana pouch be better?
He is only young (56) and is worried about people seeing the bag.

Is there a list of pros and cons - pouch versus conduit that we can look at to get this straight in our minds!

Surgery is on Tuesday June 9th!!

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4 years 9 months ago #48898 by raider
Best wishes , keep us posted!

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4 years 9 months ago #48897 by GKLINE
Maybe this is his body telling him that "IT'S TIME!!"
Twelve days away from surgery and it can't happen soon enough.

Best of luck to you and let's hope everything goes well and we can look back on this as a life lesson learned.

Prayers to you
George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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4 years 9 months ago #48895 by rike
We are rapidly approaching June 12th, the day of surgery for my husband. I am getting nervous. H has not been doing real well the last few days. After 3 months of no bleeding, he is bleeding heavily and passing clots. Should I be worried or is this normal?

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4 years 11 months ago #48715 by GKLINE
Ulli
I didn't know that I had sent a post to your husband before, but I'm glad I did! And I am glad that I posted to you too.
This cancer thing is a Team Sport! It cannot be won by a single person. I know that the driver of a race car gets the accolades, but the driver knows that he cannot win without his team. There is a common thread here.

When I was diagnosed, It was a 2x4 to the forhead! Wow! I just went into lockdown.
My wife started slowly, but I still remember her saying that I needed to let her in because I wasn't going to beat this on my own. So... We had many long and wonderful talks. Pretty soon we were discussing "EVERYTHING"
I had to tell my employees what was happening..... And soon I just started telling my friends and aquaintences (Small town talk had me dead and buried at the first word "cancer") Some of my friends stayed away.... afraid
Some aquaintences became very close friends as they made effort to stop by or send positive messages.

All of this made my recovery a positive thing. My relationship with my wife went from good to "FANTASTIC"...... we became the TEAM that would never be beaten. We learned that everything was on the table for discussion and there was never any reason to hold back. No judgment. Only support.

I know that cancer is a dirty rotten damnable, awful thing. Worse than that actually. But you need to find the positive in this. You can't beat this alone.
Sit down, turn off the phones, TV, lock the doors and.... Talk.
Nobody is that much of a rock. I was never about talking about things....I was supposed to be strong. But I needed my team to be strong

And they were. And they are!

Sorry for the crushing word count...... But You are going to beat this....Together!

George

As for the racing last weekend...... We Blew the clutch and didn't get to race the second day. But we had a BLAST anyway with the new friends we made (the bourbon helped) and we will fix it and do it again next month at Lime Rock
Oh Yeah..... kinda like getting through cancer !!

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]
The following user(s) said Thank You: rike

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4 years 11 months ago #48702 by Cynthia
Hi, Eight years here, I have an Indiana Pouch and live a full life. Usually and that is if all is unremarkable they let you go home soon after the bowels "wake" up. Never before will letting gas be so welcome, cause more comment or celebration. They will want him to start walking as soon as he can. You may need to push a little but the more he moves the sooner his intestines wake up and he gets to eat and go home. There is some evidence that chewing gum will help the process along but please get it OKed with your doctor. This is a big deal but you two have to keep your eye on the pie. This is all about getting past the cancer and going back to life again. We are here if you need us.

PS You might try reading George's post to you husband he might not seem to listen but he will hear. We all handle this differently there is no right or wrong. There were times I didn't want to talk about my blc not because I was in denial but because I wanted to talk about something else. I felt defined by my cancer and needed my life to be about more.

Cynthia Kinsella
T2 g3 CIS 8/04
Clinical Trial
Chemotherapy & Radiation 10/04-12/04
Chemotherapy 3/05-5/05
BCG 9/05-1-06
RC w/umbilical Indiana pouch 5/06
Left Nephrectomy 1/09
President American Bladder Cancer Society
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